Getting a 3.0 will be a challenge because there is one area that I still need to improve on and that's my writing. Improving my writing will not only make me a be writer but it would eliminate years of frustration towards writing. If my writing hasn't made an improvement then my goal of a 3.0 would be a waste of my time. This is very important to me because many people that has achieved a GPA of a 3.0 or higher, are most likely to be good writers.I want to be one of those people, I want to achieve something and say that I'm a good writer. Maybe if I go to a tutor that can help me with my writing. It can help me achieve my goal for that 3.0 GPA for the cluster.
Back in the 6th grade I was a 90 overall student. Over the years that has past I've become more lazier and my GPA has dropped. While I was in high school, my GPA was around a seventy five. I know I could have done better because I know I take school serious. But since my high school was one of those school that didn't motivate their students to do anything. I adapted to it and thus made me lazy and not care about the grades I got. In a way it disappointed me because I know that I'm better then that and how I could have done better. But instead I let the people in my school and the lack of motivation to influence me to not care about school and their academics.
I want to be motivated about school again. Being motivated will keep me focus and less distracted about the little things. One motivation I had was when I doubted myself, a friend of mine always kept a positive attitude and that kept me going. With my friends positive attitude it always made me realize that I am that A student that I use to be in middle school. One motivation speech that my mother told me was "When it gets tough, you keep going". It sounds a bit corny but it always kept be going. So I will use that to accomplish my goal because at times I don't feel motivated to do anything. It frustrates me because I am a good student and I just need a little motivation to remind me of the big picture.
There are a couple of ways for my to help me reach my goal. First off I can take better notes. Taking good notes will help me be more organize and that's important. I can also try to pay more attention in class. Often enough I get really tired, not because the class is boring, its just I sleep late at times. So instead of sleeping late, I should try to sleep a bit earlier, so I can pay attention in class more.
If I improve my writing and get some motivation. I know in my heart that i can reach that 3.0 GPA. These may be small little things to some people, but to me it means everything. It would mean so much to me because over the years my writing was bad and I had lack of motivation to do anything. But once I reach 3.0, then I will attempt to reach a bigger average which is 3.5. But by that time I will be confident enough to know that I can do it and I know I'll have my mother and my friend to keep be focus. To do better and excel.
If I improve my writing and get some motivation. I know in my heart that i can reach that 3.0 GPA. These may be small little things to some people, but to me it means everything. It would mean so much to me because over the years my writing was bad and I had lack of motivation to do anything. But once I reach 3.0, then I will attempt to reach a bigger average which is 3.5. But by that time I will be confident enough to know that I can do it and I know I'll have my mother and my friend to keep be focus. To do better and excel.
I'm looking for a comment that will help me understand what I did wrong. I want to know if I must add on something
ReplyDelete1. Intro Paragraph:
ReplyDeleteHey, Jhoel I feel that your easy was ok lit could be better. Some of the sentences are not clear to me as a reader. In your introduction you didn’t indent. There are some grammar mistakes. I also feel you should of talked about your family in a paragraph because you stated it in your introduction. So, as a reader I feel that you kind of went off of topic. I feel that you could of named ways that you are going to obtain a 3.0 GPA for example: never missing days, paying attention in class, taking plenty notes. And so forth but you spoke about your past experience and how that has affected you. But overall it’s a good objective and I hope that you reach your goal.
2. Yes.
3. Yes.
4. I feel that your thesis statement was very clear.
5. No, it can be improved by changing some things around within your essay. Paragraphs 2 and 3 could have been combined and chopped down to make one paragraph.
6. No, and yes I feel that it could have been improved.
7. No, you could of rearrange the paragraphs.
8.”I've always like to start small and then move on big.” Tell how give examples
Body Paragraphs – Repeat for each body paragraph:
Par.1 should be in the middle.
Par.2 You should talk about your past first and continue on into the present working on the future.
Par.3 You could of left out the word (again) in your thesis statement a little bit of grammar work and reorganizing you will be done.
9. Yes.
10. Yes.
11.You could be more specific on what you plain to achieve how are you going to accomplish this goal.
12. Yes.
13. Yes.
14. Yes but I feel you need more details.
15. Yes I feel that you should be more clear and state how you are going to accomplish this goal.
16. Yes, combining your sentences and add more to your essay such as more details on how you are going to accomplish this goal and why is it so important to you.